Warning: The following nerdslant Nerdrant by Drew and Rick contains potential Force-choking, indiscriminate Avada Kedavras, and dueling fanbases. If any of these things bothers you, this is not the nerdslant Nerdrant you’re looking for.
For our this edition of nerdslant Nerdrant, we decided to pit two die-hard fanbases – Harry Potter and Star Wars – against one another to ask a seemingly simple question: Who would win in a fight? A Harry Potter wizard or a Jedi.
Drew: So, it’s come to my attention that some of my colleagues are under the deluded impression that a Hogwarts-trained wizard could beat a Jedi in a fight. To them I say: You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. Now in fairness, Harry or Voldemort could probably do some serious damage to a Youngling, just as Vader would delight in crushing Ron’s windpipe. Let’s take main characters out of the equation. If you look at the average trained Jedi vs the average Hogwarts alum, there’s no chance the wizard is winning that fight. First off, Jedi are trained warriors, whereas wizards generally aren’t. A wand simply does not stand up to a lightsaber in the midst of a battle.
Rick: Prepare to suck deez Sorcerer’s Stones, Mr. Drew! There are many things my disillusioned colleague seems to be forgetting: First, while a mere high school student might not have much of a chance against a fully-trained jedi, a trained Auror or Dark Wizard skilled in the art of magical combat would be able to more than hold their own against the one-trick pony Jedi. Second, the Force is mere manipulation of energy, whereas a wizard’s magic is limitless. Third, a Jedi’s precious lightsaber could be transfigured into a harmless rubber-chicken. Even the Jedi themself could be transfigured into a harmless creature or object of the wizards whim with the mere flick of their wand, or even without a wand or word uttered. All this with none of the concentration or taxation on the body the Force requires.
Drew: Rick, Rick, Rick, those Socerer’s Stones aren’t going to be sucked by me. #TeamJedi will use the Force, to hurl them back at your little wizards – hopefully they don’t break a wand. What a shame that would be. You say a high school student wizard wouldn’t have a chance against a Jedi, yet it was those students that took down the most powerful baddie in the Harry Potter universe. Despite this, you also claim a Jedi would beat them? Hmmm.
Everything has its limits, even magic. If a Jedi was using mind manipulation before your wizard could even utter one of his little “bippity boppity boos”, it’d be game over. Also, keep in mind, a wizard needs to breath; If a Jedi was being a bawdy little monkey and using a Force choke, your wizard will be dead faster than you could say, “Hocus pocus.” Rick, *waves hand* you will lose this battle.
Rick: Sorry Drew, but not even the fabled Resurrection Stone can save your argument from death. Yes, Harry did take down Voldemort, but he wasn’t trained in combat to the degree of a Jedi. To make this fight fair we need to compare two evenly trained entities. You seem to be forgetting the power of Occlumency; a wizard can swat down any attempt to invade their mind with no spells or magic words.
As for needing to breath, a wizard utilizing the bubble head charm or simply consuming a magical herb would have no need for oxygen. However, a simple Protego spell would be more than sufficient to stop a Jedi from reaching him with Force choke even if they were able to track them down with the wizard Apparating all over the battlefield. A Jedi, not having access to any of these things, would have a far worse day encased inside a torrential sphere of water such as the one Dumbledore used on Voldemort in The Order of the Phoenix.
Drew: Rick my young Padawan, you seem to be the one who’s forgetting: Jedi have foresight. They’d be able to anticipate any spells coming at them. Jedi are also quite stealthy and pretty gosh-darn hard to detect when they want to be. How will your puny wizard even know to use that Protego spell? A well placed bolt of Force Lightening (Yes, there have been Jedi that have used it, just not in the movie cannon.) we’ve got ourselves a deep-fried, dead wizard.
Your sphere of water’s no problem, as a Jedi can use the Force and limit their need for oxygen intake. Granted, this would involve a basic system shutdown, but they’d be able to survive for hours, or even days. Dumbledore seemed to do a great job containing Voldemort (I may be wrong but methinks he got out of that particular trap). Your Headmaster might want to hang up his wand and head to the Jedi Academy.
Rick: So Drew, Hogwarts called, they said they were saving you a seat. I told them not to worry, I can handle schooling you no sweat. Jedi forsight is a thing, I’ll give you that, but how did that work out for Kai Adi Mundi in the Clone Wars when he was felled by blaster fire, or Qui-Gon Jinn just before being skewed by Darth Maul? Besides, a wizard utilizing Divination would have just as easy a time seeing the outcome of a fight. As for stealth sure Jedi can be pretty sneaky but would come up short against a wizard and their invisibility cloak. One simple Memory Charm from the bastion of an invisibility cloak and you got yourself a Jedi who thinks they’re a chicken before Force Lightning has a chance to do it’s work.
While Voldemort was able to counteract Dumbledore’s water sphere, let’s not forget he did so using magic. A Jedi shutting down to limit oxygen intake would be a welcome sight to a wizard as they pumped electricity through the sphere to barbecue them some Jedi. Unfortunately, you hinted at the Jedi’s greatest handicap in a battle against a wizard, which is the time needed to concentrate to use the Force. Such respite would simply not be afforded. But don’t worry, I hear Hufflepuff has some openings in it’s first-year class in case any Jedi want to get a real education.
Drew: Qui Gon was bested by another Force user, and Kai Adi Mundi had no reason to think his troops were turning on him. A Jedi would still be able to sense your little wizard sneaking around in his invisibility cloak. Though, for amusement, our Jedi would probably let the wizard think they were being a tricksy hobbit (don’t get me started on Lord of the Rings vs Harry Potter) and wait until the last moment until, snap-hiss, a lightsaber-kabob of wizard. Luke Skywalker single-handedly killed over a billion Imperial employees aboard the Death Star without more than a few hours of training – I think I like the odds of a Jedi being able to take out one little wand-waving Quid-bitch.
Rick: Is a Mynock chewing on the power cables, or is that sucking sound you? But seriously Discounting the countless other Jedi in the Star Wars universe who were felled by non-Jedi, I was saving this little tidbit for the final deathblow.
Sure, Jedi are amazing and powerful (I like to give credit where credit is due), but how do they fare against someone who can bend time to their will? Not good, I think. It’s odd how a Jedi would be able to detect an invisible wizard, but can’t detect the harbinger of the Jedi Order’s destruction when he’s not only visible, but five-feet away from the frakking Council. That aside, if a Jedi were to allow a wizard to think he’s being sneaky, then that’s all the time a wizard needs to activate his handy-dandy Time-Turner and halt time for the few brief minutes that wizard needs to walk up to said Jedi and hit him with a Death Curse, stab him in the neck with a dagger, or if they really want to be cheeky, slice and dice them with their own lightsaber.
Face it, Drew – you scruffy looking nerf herder – your Jedi’s going down faster than a Youngling up against Anakin. I was hoping you would see the light, but sadly you’re just not Hogwarts material. Don’t worry, though, I have a consolation prize for you…Avada Kedavra!
Well, there you have it, folks: Both sides have laid out their case for who would win in the showdown of fandom versus fandom. Who’s your pick in a fight between a Harry Potter wizard and a Jedi? Let your voices be heard in the comments section below, and let us know what nerdslant Nerdrants you’d like to see us do in the future!